After Graduation

Last year, around this time, I was talking about the traits of some of the best teachers I had during my undergraduate-graduate studies. The purpose of that write up was to talk about what I think, it takes to be a great teacher. Also if the content of the write up helped some of the budding graduate instructors in their teaching career then that is a success. This write up is a bit different and here I will give my perceptions about the life after graduation.

I was lucky enough to be among a few of my closest friends starting from my college days till I graduated with a doctorate degree from UNC Chapel Hill. So, I have been with those incredibly interesting friends for the last ten years. In 2014, I had to graduate and leave this circle of friends for good to pursue different goals in life. Life became tougher as I had expected before and I had to battle hard to break the barriers of being in a comfy zone and to go out and interact with unknown people, that too mostly in a professional environment. Truth be told, while being in Columbus, I thought of leaving the place number of times and indeed finally succeeded once. So, the question is why did I leave?

Truth be told, professional life is very different from the life that we lead as a student. Students more often than not pursue what they like the most. If that is not true for you, then my suggestion would be to give a good thought about it, and try to extrapolate where you see yourself in 10 – 15 years. I know it is tough and it does not have to be exact. But it actually gives you a very rough idea how the future looks like for you. Last year one of the professionals asked me "What pushes you to come to office every day at 7:30 in the morning ?" Being naïve as I was, replied “It’s a job for me, five days a week”. He chuckled a bit and replied “Is it only that ?” I did not think about it much. For me, as long as I was on payroll, life seemed to be good! But in reality, it ain’t so.  So, how do you know you like what you are doing? Most of the time, we as human beings, tend to follow a cycle [eat – work – exercise – eat – hangout – eat – sleep, not necessarily in that order]. And occasionally we travel to new places or take part in extracurricular activities to rejuvenate ourselves and get charged up to follow the same old routine again! Well, if you are enjoying your professional life then that is good. More often than not, in that case, you will like the routine also. But if not, then the best you can do to yourself is to ask everyday whether you are thrilled about the work that you will be doing each day. As long as the answer is yes, you are doing just great in your professional life. Honestly, one roughly spends 8-10 hours on a daily basis in the professional environment. So, that is a bit less than 1/3^rd of one’s life (under the assumption that, the person will retire one day from the job). So, it is better to choose wisely what one wants to do in professional life.

Apart from the professional life it is better to have a hobby. It could be social work, cooking, gardening, photography, traveling to new places, reading books, anything that makes one feel engaged in a life outside the professional world. Most of the professionals will retire from their respective jobs someday for good, and pursuing a hobby is essential to fill the void. Graduate life is perhaps the best and also the last part of your student life when you can pick up any of these hobbies. One does not need to be damn good in any of that but it should be a kind of a hobby which will keep one motivated and bring a balance between professional and personal life.

The main aim of this write up is to give a good glimpse of life after graduation and if this article helps the graduating students in their professional careers then I will consider this to be a successful write up. Thanks! 

A shore never reached

Uma grew up in a small village. Her father was a carpenter who would often sit around the house half the year. Uma was more close to her mother, Laxmi. Laxmi died when Uma was twelve years old. She used to work as a maidservant in seven households and could earn barely enough to feed the family. Laxmi died in 1982. It was a terrible summer in 1982 when temperature rose so high that the village river became dry and she had to walk barefoot to the neighbouring village to fetch water in a small bucket. They would recycle the water as much as they could. Life was tough.

As a kid Uma never understood the societal hierarchy until one day she asked her mother for a new pair of school shoes. Laxmi gave a blank stare but never uttered a single word. That night, like every other night little Uma cuddled up in her mother's arms. With a whispering voice Uma complained that her friends get new shiny shoes every year and she never got a new one in the last two years. With shiny little jubilant eyes, she looked at Laxmi's face only to realize that her mother had already fallen asleep. She hid her face in her mother's chest and tried to get some sleep. So far she got everything that she asked for - pencils, erasers, a pack of fruit and nut in every three months, a cornetto on every last day of the school year. She couldn't be happier. Her life was perfect! She felt guilty that she asked for the new shoes. She thought: may be it was not right for an eight year old to ask for new shoes. But most of her friends did ask their parents. May be they asked their fathers only. For her that was not possible. But then again most of her friends were one year older to her, so perhaps they were allowed to ask for the new shoes. Did they really ask ? Soon she realized she was thinking too much. With a happy mind Uma tried to get some sleep only to realize that her mother was crying as tears started rolling down her face. Uma cuddled up more tightly and slept with a smile.              

   

Next day in school Uma asked her friend Anamika how did she get a new pair of shoes and what did she tell her parents. With a surprise Anamika looked at her and replied that she never had to ask her parents for anything. She got so many new clothes and shoes that these days every morning she gets confused while choosing one. Uma silently listened to her and laughed with her as Anamika choked a bit with excitement. That day in school Uma noticed every ones' shoes while walking down the corridors during the break. Some students had stylish shoes. Uma craved for those ones. While a few other students had bad ugly torn shoes worse than that of Uma's. Uma hated those shoes and also those girls. She made up her mind never to be friends with them. After school while walking back she asked Anamika why some of these girls had such ugly shoes. With a grim face Anamika replied "those girls are poor and their parents are good for nothing". Uma did not say a single word for the entire day. When she came home she went straight to her mother and asked her "are we poor  ? Are we good for nothing ?" That night Uma cuddled up in her mother's arms and they both cried to sleep.

Twenty year have passed by. Uma is way better off. She works only in three households in the morning and in the evening she works in a dhaba in a town nearby. She has a daughter. She named her Laxmi in memory of her mother. Each month Uma saves 50 rupees and at the end of the year she buys new shoes for Laxmi. With the past twenty years of hard work Uma has made sure that no one can tell them that they are good for nothing. Every night Uma and Laxmi spend hours staring at the stars. People say there are patterns formed by stars and the patterns never change. Uma never found any patterns. Then again who cares ? Sitting under the star-studded sky, Uma tells stories to little Laxmi until she goes to sleep. Life is way bigger. It is as big as the unending sprawling sky which is covered with twinkling stars. Uma feels proud that she worked hard and made a fortune. Life is perfect!

This year, for a school event little Laxmi asked for a new costume. Uma did not have enough money to buy it. She tried to gather as much as she could but it was not enough. The very next day Laxmi came back from school and cried to sleep. The words that Anamika told her twenty year ago started jingling in Uma's ears. For her it was a shore never reached. Did the pattern change ?  

A trip to Seattle (Part 1)

I was eagerly waiting for this trip. During the last six months I went to two Columbus Crew games, went to a show by John Oliver, went to a concert by Bob Dylan (Yes! That's an experience) and went to Chapel Hill twice to be with the gang. Yet, I needed a break from my mundane daily life. I was missing the gang a lot. So, AB and I planned for a trip to Seattle to visit Sada's place during Christmas holidays. 

We started on the 25th evening. I was travelling from Columbus while AB was travelling from Chapel Hill. For me it was a long six hour plane journey from DC to Seattle which as always turned out to be boring except for a unique incident which was indeed one-of-a-kind. Before even we started from DC one of the passengers got deplaned for disobeying the flight attendant. It turned out that he expressed his feelings of anger to the lady with a few specially chosen well structured slang which brought him to that end.  

Once spotted in the Seattle-Tacoma airport the first thing AB told me that he was hungry. With more interrogations AB finally revealed that he did not have a full lunch before he started from Chapel Hill and neither did he buy any food in between. So we both headed for a Starbucks shop to have something. I was extremely delighted to be among the known faces again.

The best way to reach Sada's place from the airport is to take a metro and Sada already gave us enough information on how to reach his place. Sada's apartment is in downtown Seattle near the China town. So, AB and I boarded a metro from the airport and headed towards the China town. I remember, through out the journey I kept on pointing AB to every Chase outlet. Every time AB had a different verbal response which was not only amusing but made me even more interested. I was explaining him how these outlets work and what do they do on a daily basis and how these outlets can run into misery without our indispensable contribution, to be exact my indispensable contribution. It was a deliberate effort on my part to substantiate the fact that how important I am as a resource for the bank. All the while it was a sarcasm that we both enjoyed.       

It was a cold evening. With hands deep inside our pockets we strolled down the streets of Seattle. It was already pretty late in the evening. Streets were mostly empty with a few people loitering around the corners. We soon spotted a tall building on our way. Later we came to know it is the Columbia Center, the tallest building in Seattle. Sada's apartment is in the topmost floor of a 7 storied apartment building. It is in front of the Columbia Center. As soon as we reached Sada's place I felt the same vibe that we used to have back in Chapel Hill with the gang. I met Aindrik, Arjun, Avik, Sankha and Abhik. Aindrik and Arjun reached a couple of days ahead of us. They drove in from Albuquerque. Abhik flew in from Alpharetta and Sankha flew in from California. It was a delight to meet all of them.

Dinner was delicious. We watched the highlights of an ongoing test match between Australia and India and discussed if India could win one game how it would boost the confidence of the entire team ahead of the WC. The discussion reminded me of the days during the soccer WC, when each evening over dinner Subhamay would analyze every game and finally make predictions for the next games. Although his analyses would very often run on a parallel track with that of Roberto Martinez, his predictions more often than not used to be spot on. 

It is amazing that, even though I have spent five years with Sada and AB there will always be new topics which will come up and one can keep on talking about that for hours without running into a single dull moment. The same sense of healthy banter is always there. All the other folks joined in and we ended up spending almost a sleepless night. At 5 in the morning we dispersed and everyone decided to take a nap for a while. For me it was already 8 EST and I was wide awake. 

I thanked myself for rewarding me with this trip. Spending ten years within a known circle and then suddenly leaving that group is not easy. At least for me it was not at all easy. During this trip we traveled a bit around Seattle and I will continue writing on that later.                        

Reflections

Before today I never talked about her, neither did I try to think about her in the recent past except for reminiscing over some of the best memories she offered me to dwell upon.

It was a hot summer evening in July when it all started. Like everyone, I was a bit scared about what was in store for me in the days to come. It was a new phase of my life shielded with fear of falling behind but there was absolute freedom in whatever I chose to do.

Over the next few years, I asked her time and again why did she make it so tough to get along with her ? Why was she so harsh on me again and again ? Standing tall there she was, replied "Is it all that you have to say ?" Nah, I did have more to say. I was tested to my limits and her versatility of knowledge was way too much for my ability and talent. I could not cope up with the speed. So I had to give up and the fate ran its own course wherever it could lead me to. But she was always there pulling me out of the dangers and gave me a chance to meet with some of my best friends for life. She silently did watch it all unfolding in front of my eyes and perhaps laughed at my naivety to not to realize how awesome the life was those days.

She brought me up, gave me a new life, slowly she taught me the values of life. She taught me what is meant by sharing successes and failures with friends. She taught me to differentiate between good and not so good. She never gave up on me even when I was dejected and utterly in despair to understand why I am here with her. But she was always there to support me. With knowledge one acquires wisdom and that was where she never compromised with any of her babies. She is and will be the priceless gem of our lives and we will carry the values learnt to everywhere we go! She laid the core foundation of our beliefs, and oh boy, she did make the foundation strong.   

After eleven long years a small acknowledgement to my Alma mater, that she did provide me with the best phase of my life. Rough it was, but it was awesome. She provided me with a home away from home. Over the five years I met with some of my best friends. I was taught by some of the best professors. The unending banters and gossips over small topics...walking past those dark hostel corridors at 5AM in the morning on my way to Tapas da's dokan for the morning omelette and chai...the TT room where every one wanted to play the moment they reached there but it was not to be as everyone needed to wait for his/her turn...the unending celebrations in the hostel TV room while watching India winning the T20 World Cup in 2007..watching from my hostel balcony the torrential downpour on the sprawling football ground...the scary hectic days during midterms and the finals...amazing colorful evenings filled with social events such as Ripples, Spotlight , treasure hunt and many more organized by LA committee...these are a small section of an unending list of sweet memories. 
.
She made me feel proud to be a part of the huge institute that she is. She taught me how to try again and again even after falling behind.And with all this push and pulls she did make me fall in love with her again and again.